I recently read this post http://barefootfoodie.com/2012/01/20/marriage-is-way-harder-than-it-looks-on-tv/ , loosely related. As all things by this writer, it has some cursing and some ideas that not everyone agrees with-- which are two of the exact reasons that I like it! She makes some really good points. It's worth reading as you consider the balance of self, spouse, and children.