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So alike, yet so different

1/30/2010

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Actress Camila Alves, girlfriend to Matthew McConaughey, gave birth to a baby girl a few weeks ago. In this article, she comments that "It's easier with the second child because you know what she'll be like."

I suppose I know what she means, but I thought coming home the second time was even more nervewracking than the first. There's a little bit of blissful ignorance the first time around. And although you may know what fundamentals to expect the second time, or have more confidence in your abilities, it won't necessarily be the same experience.

No two babies are the same. My boys, of the same parents, born into the same home, with the same offerings, privleges, and rules, are so completely different-- and have been since the moment they were born.

Do you recognize that in your children? Or are your children's personalities and habits very much alike?
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The first 18 weren't?!

1/29/2010

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Michelle Duggar says that the birth of her 19th child was scary. I could not agree more. No matter what you think of this family and their inability to stop procreating, 19 of anything is scary!

All joking aside, I'm glad little Josie (a 'J' name? Shocking!) is ok. The likeliness of having 19 children with no serious health issues is, well, I don't know the statistics but I'm going to call it pretty remarkable.
 
Plus, with the 19th being born at only 25 weeks gestation, Mama Michelle's 15 weeks closer to conceiving #20!
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Aww, how...inappropirate

1/27/2010

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From the minor things such as Dora's makeover to the extremes of bikini waxing, it's clear that we're trying to make our little girls "sexy" way too early.

This first shirt is intended to be funny, but kinda' misses the mark. The rest are just sort of silly or tasteless (to me). In fact, I think the skinny jeans are really cute. I've seen worse. You need to approach some things with humor. Just like not all runway styles are meant to be worn on the street, some of these are just for shock/laugh value.

Things like this make me glad I have boys :)

1.28.10 Update~ A little update on the baby girl high heels.
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Mommy Misconceptions

1/26/2010

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I don't consider myself a Mommy Blogger. I'm more of a Mommy Re-poster, providing you links to useful and/or humorous information, with my own little comentary.

But, there are other Mommy Bloggers that I follow and love, so I feel like I know what goes on in this arena. These are the Top 10 Misconceptions About Mommy Bloggers, as considered by this author.

I'm sure this isn't news to any of you who actually are Mommy Bloggers, and I'd love to know if you agree with these, or if these, in fact, are just the things that you are thought to be plagued with.

Maybe you really do only do it for the free stuff-- that's fine. Obviously they like your reviews or they wouldn't keep sending you stuff. Maybe you do wear sweats all day every day-- some people would beg to be able to do that at their "corporate" job.

As for uneducated and lacking creativity, I doubt that's true. To quote yesterday's article, "It seems that the frayed brain of a mom desperate for any help she can get, on any given day, no matter how much she loves her kids, leaves for some very creative thinking." You can't make this stuff up. And even if not classically-trained writers in every case, these women are experts on their own topics. Sure, the proofreader in me cringes from time to time, but chances are, they're not writing for the literary critics of the world; they're writing for fellow moms, or simply for themselves.

So give 'em a break. Consider the stereotypes of your own profession-- are you a plumber whose pants hang at the halfway mark of your rear, a lawyer who eats nice people for breakfast, a sales(wo)man whose politeness is seen only as schmoozing? Sure, every stereotype is grounded in some reality, but let's not get carried away.
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There's an app for that...no, wait, there's not.

1/25/2010

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I love this so much that I wish I wrote it myself*. Sadly, I didn't, but you should read it anyway. Sakala makes excellent points-- all relevant, true, original, and sugared with just enough humor that we can laugh, instead of crying over the fact that such a thing does not (yet?) exist...

*the reason is only partially based on the fact that I'd like to disprove the myth that "there's an app for that", as I hate that line and everything associated with it. Mainly, I just like what she had to say and the way that she said it :)
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It’s ok to say no

1/23/2010

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It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say no. If I say it enough times, maybe I’ll start to believe it. 

No, I can’t stop my own work to help with yours. No, I can’t babysit your kids while I’m home with my own (and working) while you get your haircut. No, I don’t want to meet you for happy hour, mainly because I not only need but want to put my kids to bed. No, I cannot email that friend of a friend to find out where she bought the dress you saw while creeping on Facebook. No, no, no, no, no.

I’m not selfish, I do not have an obsession with my kids (well, not an unhealthy one anyway). I am a social, happy, giving person. Very often the answer to all of those questions above is a genuine yes. But the madness needs to stop somewhere.

Nope, I can’t do it. I hear others say no, to me or to other people, and I don’t think less of them, but I can’t get myself to say it. Not aloud anyway; I certainly scream it in my head as I smile and say “Sure.” 


Why? Is it a girl thing? Are we just so programmed to do what is asked of us? Is it a mom thing? So quick to supply a need or satisfy a request? I’m not a pushover, why is this so complicated? I have a 2-year-old—I hear the word no a hundred times a day! But the most resistance I can muster up (to an adult) is pausing to say “Um” before giving in and saying sure!

But wait. Am I doing anyone any real favors by agreeing to something with fake perkiness, feigned pleasure, or a pouting face? Wouldn’t it be much more appreciated by all if we were
genuine so that we can enjoy the times that we are helping or spending time with each other?

I’m practicing and getting better. I can’t sabotage my own work or schedule or principles to help someone else—and that’s not selfish, it’s realistic. We all have so.much.to.do. Some of it is mandatory and some of it is not. Of course, there are mandatory things that we actually want to do, and non-mandatory things that we’d like to get out of. The key is to find the balance and stick with it. I’m pretty sure that as friends, wives, moms, you give enough of yourselves to satisfy your friends. So give yourself a break, and give them a free pass too. 

“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” ~ Mother Teresa
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Ready or Not...

1/22/2010

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How do you know if you’re ready to start a family? Lifestyle and financial concerns usually top the list of reasons to wait. Not ignoring those two very important factors, if you wait until you have everything figured out, and all your baby bases covered, you’ll never have a baby. What in your life do you have 100% figured out? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? I didn’t think so. So what makes you think you’ll be able to get all your (adorable, little, yellow) ducks in a row before your baby-making years are way gone?

Lifestyle is something that will change. You can’t take your baby to Happy Hour, and you can’t leave him at home—even if you have a really caring dog. And financial concerns are substantial. A quick search gave me a range of $1,000-$2,400 just for formula in the first year! (I’m clueless about formula costs- I was a breastfeeding mama. And, though I’m usually not a pusher, I say do it! Clearly you can save a ton of money—enough to spend a week at the beach with your family!)

Above all, you need to stop asking yourself if you’re ready. You’ll know when you are. If you’re still asking, then there’s something holding you back. While I love to hear of new pregnancies, give yourself some time. Babies don’t come with gift receipts. 

Here’s a hilarious series of tests you can conduct to find out your readiness. For those of you who are not yet parents, don’t let this scare you away. This only shows the negatives. And trust me, the positives far outweigh all the bad stuff...although that’s sometimes a little clearer in hindsight. But what’s not?
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Overdose of Cuteness

1/21/2010

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IMPORTANT UPDATE:
Please read updated Poison Control instructions (Thanks Nurse Melissa!)
http://www.poison.org/prepared/ipecac.asp
 
2: number of children I have
11:number of times I was up with said children last night
6: average number of minutes I was up each time
66: estimated amount of time, in minutes, that I was out of bed (damn, felt like a lot more than that)
7: number of times I fell asleep praying that the coughs would stop
6.5: the number of hours I attempted to sleep
4: the hour in which the first alarm clock sounded
X: the unknown (aka, math I can't do); the amount of sleep I lost based on Being out of bed+Time taken to fall back asleep/# of minutes attempted to sleep

But enough with my selfish numerology...

During this, our wonderful cold and flu season, here's a funny (but serious) reminder to be careful to keep all medicine away from your children. Always double check doses, and check with your doctor or pharmacist before giving kids any medicine, especially if they're already taking another kind. Mixing some medicines--over the counter included-- can be a fatal combination.

With that warning in mind, enjoy this story from the True Confessions section of Crib Notes:

I was up late with Little Larry (teething, etc), and around 5a.m. I opened a new bottle of Tylenol and gave him his dose. Being half asleep I must not have closed the child proof lid all the way. Ashley was about 33 months, and when she woke up she went downstairs first. By the time I came downstairs she was coming out of the bathroom with the empty—yes empty—bottle of Tylenol in her hand saying, “Mommy this was dewicious!” I knew it was a full bottle so the first thing I did was call Poison Control. The woman was great. She calmly asked if I had syrup of ipecac. I did but was not really sure where I hid it to keep it out of the kids’ reach...ironic that I didn't do that with a full bottle of Tylenol!!

She said, “I will give you exactly five minutes to locate it, otherwise take a spoon and your child to the drugstore, buy some and give it to her at the store.” I found it, gave it to her, and she threw up all the Tylenol. It took her about six throw ups but it all came out. Poison Control called me all throughout the day to see how she was doing and then called the next day. I asked the woman, after thanking her a million times, what would have happened. She said she would have fallen asleep and her liver would have shut down and by the time I thought her nap was over...well...you know what. Scary, huh?! Thank goodness she told me, “MOMMY THIS WAS DEWICIOUS!” It was so cute that we say it all the time till this day, but it saved her life.
~Kathy , 9 siblings, mom of 4

 
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No, we don't need that....Ooooh, but I WANT it so bad!

1/20/2010

1 Comment

 
A first time pregnant mom recently asked me what she really needs to register for. The online and in-store lists are so long, and possibly even excessive? So besides the obvious needs of diapers and clothing, what are the must haves? And what are the "luxuries" that you found most surprisingly useful?

While at a friend's baby shower, my mom and I watched her open a wipes warmer. How ridiculous we thought, as we exchanged glances.

A couple years later I specifically left such a mini-appliance off my own registry. Then, as I unwrapped one of the packages at my own shower, I uncovered-- dun dun dun-- a wipes warmer! I took it home and set it up with all of my other new gifts.

To my own amazement, I used it at every diaper change and actually found it necessary, even for a baby born in the heat of July! And it was used for 18 months-- until it was transferred to new January baby. (And perhaps losing the cozy warm wipes was an accidental push towards potty-training!)

The wipes warmer was probably my most-used, eventually most-loved, non-necessity item. Looking forward a year or two, I see a backseat DVD player as my next object of mal-opinion. I scoff at the need for it-- and I'm not a TV-for-kids hater! But why do they need to watch a show on the 8 minute drive to school? Doesn't that distract from their ability to self-amuse?

I need to stop there though. I'm afraid I'll soon be eating my words in the form of a Disney DVD... 
1 Comment

Waxing and Waning

1/19/2010

10 Comments

 
Earlier, I mentioned a story about 8-year-old girls getting bikini waxes. Yeah, eww doesn't begin to describe it. Here's the story.

I am all for, umm, personal maintenance, but this is gross. The writer mentions that some salons require parents to sign a waiver-- which should be warning enough that the action you're about to impose upon your child is dangerous. But, I agree with her opinion that these salons are asking for trouble by accepting the business at all.

Shaving your legs may be a rite of passage, and a mother-daughter spa day may be a special treat. And although highlighting your six-year-old's hair is pretty extreme, how many of us children of the '80s had perms before their tenth birthday? I did. Granted, it was about $8 and administered by my mom and my aunt in the kitchen, not $80 in a salon, but that's somewhat irrelevant.

BUT, waxing non-existent hair is not only useless, but pretty sexually disturbing. As parents and teachers, we teach children about private areas and no-touch zones. How contradictory is it to subject a child to the nakedness, awkward positioning, and embarassment of a bikini wax? Like I said, it's way beyond ewww.

Of course you don't want your daughter to be the hairy/smelly/messy girl, but there's a bold line between age-appropriate and downright wrong.

*As a mom of boys, I do need to mention one other point: Girls are not the only ones affected. Boys are just as likely, if not more likely, to suffer from low self-esteem. They're also less likely to talk to you about it. It's not "manly" to copy your friend's haircut, or be envious of his clear skin, or compliment his sneakers. That doesn't mean those feelings don't exist. So let's just not forget about the boys. Rant done.

Your thoughts?
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<<Previous

    Author

    With a love of children and a passion for reading and writing, Kelly decided to share her experiences with others through the pages of the Crib Notes book and site.

    She gained her insight and expertise during a nine-month course called Pregnancy, and continues on-the-job training mothering two boys just 18-months apart in age.

    Your comments are always welcomed here and at CribNotesBook@gmail.com


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