This is really interesting. I often think that we are kind of 'ruining' our kids by breaking their will, teaching them to follow exact rules...I am big on structure and rules, but I want my kids to be persistent, to speak up for what they believe, etc. It's hard to articulate; the best way I can think of is to say that I try to teach them to be respectful, not necessarily obedient.
Am I making any sense?!
http://daynamartin.com/unschooling-blog/trust-the-intensity/